PERCEPTIONS

My daughter #3 sent me an email the other day, suggesting that I should write more true stories about what goes on in my life. I guess she thinks I'm fascinating, which makes me laugh although, secretly, as a mother, her opinion pleases me. Also, she feels that the work I do with my clients contains valuable insights that can be helpful to all of us. I definitely agree and I have drawn on those experiences--if only in a general way that protects a client's identity--in some previous postings.

Trends, fads, styles, fixations come and go in waves and over the many years of doing consulting work, I've seen patterns of behavior, concerns and problems that arise in bulk, sometimes over days or weeks. All of a sudden I'll get a large number of phone calls from people who are changing life styles, jobs or getting pregnant. It signals to me that one of those waves is gathering momentum and everyone seems to pick up on it at the same time.

Right now, I am being bombarded with calls about unhappy love scenarios. SHE has invested time and effort and HE doesn't want to commit. HE suspects that SHE is cheating but SHE denies it. HE feels used. SHE feels used. HE does everything right for her and SHE doesn't appreciate it. HE doesn't make enough money. HE wants more sex and SHE'S too tired from working long hours. It goes on and on.

Consider two people who are at the airport and their flight is delayed. One person thinks, not again and why do these things happen to me and always go wrong? The other person decides that this is a nice opportunity to unwind and catch up on some reading. Different perspectives on the same situation can bring about very different experiences. If you are at an impasse in a relationship, it may be the time to sit back and take a look at things from a different perspective. Or, it may be time to take a break, or, it may be time to move on. I can't offer a conclusion (except in private sessions) to whatever may be going on but I can say that the time you have on this earth is short and you can either make the most of it and get the best out of it or you can decide to float along in misery, fear and unhappiness.

HERE'S A WAY TO LOOK AT THE BIGGER PICTURE:

You spend your youth nervous, fearful and insecure because you have not yet learned the tools that are necessary to deal with real life situations. Your twenties are spent making mistakes, correcting them amd then making them again.
Your thirties arrive and you are starting to come into your own, trying not to make the same mistakes yet again. At times you worry about insignificant things, not realizing how easy it can be to move past issues.
Your forties come faster and you are finally getting it if you're lucky. You rub your eyes awake and begin to believe more in yourself. Maybe you pay more attention to what your gut tells you and that helps you to be less afraid. You have more confidence. You are kind of wishing for a slower pace, not wanting to feel you are always rushing somewhere.
Your fifties arrive even faster. Could be the kids are grown and you can be a little more selfish with your time. You realize that the years just blew past you and you may wonder how the heck that happened? You make a firm decision to have fun again and then you start counting how many years you have left and all the things you have been wanting to do.
By the time your sixties roll around, you are probably enjoying yourself a little more.
The fabulous seventies may bring some slowing down, don't give a heck what people tell you or think, maybe more sleep and leisure time is needed, but also a longing for that old frantic way of life that is now behind you.


If you live your life--your whole life--as though there is no tomorrow, you may speed up the groweth process and stop wasting time and energy feeling nervous, depressed, afraid. If your relationship isn't working for you, ask yourself what you are getting from it and if you need to go away and think about it, or walk away. Or...get off your butt and make the relationship work better. THE POINT IS THAT IT'S ALL OVER IN A FLASH AND IF YOU SQUANDER YOUR TIME HERE....WELL, THAT'S THAT!!!!
Do the things that make you feel good because they have tremendous power to draw even more of life's riches to you. THAT is the LAW OF ATTRACTION. It works in love relationships just as well as it does in the airport when the flight is delayed.
Yup...the choice is yours.
Remember, our thoughts are powerful. They determine how we see ourselves, how we see others, and how we see the world. They can imprison us in fear and doubt or liberate us from pain and suffering. Also, magical or a nightmare....