SEX AND THE SINGLE GIRL (from my perspective)

Women have never been without influence but there have been times when it was unacceptable, even, unlawful, for them to exercise their power. They have a long history of being considered inferior in a male dominated society, unable to own property and not allowed to caste a political vote. The Women's Suffrage Movement in the U.S. during the 19th century, resulting in the right of women to vote, began a huge shift toward being able to lawfully participate in events taking place outside the kitchen. By the 20th century, with the availability of birth control pills, the pendulum continued to swing, crashing and amashing all kinds of social structures. Women's liberation and demands for equal pay contributed to women being able to take charge of their own destiny, and have enough money to pay for it.

These were exciting changes and they required men AND woman to make huge adjustments to the shifting, social, political and economic landscape. No matter how painful that has been, we are certainly better for it and we have grown in my opinion.

But now, here we are in the early part of the 21st Century and, as a clairvoyant and Life Coach, I am too often amazed by how many female clients come to me in the throes of emotional meltdown over relationships. Smart, accomplished, successful women are reduced to being confused, indecisive and needy. A huge industry of "how to have a better relationship" books, CDs, seminars, online instructional materials, etc. continues to grow, with no signs of stopping. These are times when I find that people are overwhelmed by the mountains of information available to fix them, get them a soul mate, have the best sex ever, have it all, because what I see in my clients is that something still isn't working.

As far as I'm concerned, the most loving and healing energy comes from females. Sometimes it's called Goddess energy, conjuring up images from Greek or Roman mythology. Because of changes in their status over the past couple of centuries women have been freer to explore this energy. Moving it out to the world, the workplace, the political arena, etc. has allowed them to integrate and evolve more of their male energy as well. For many, this has brought about a struggle to balance the male and female sides, the Yin and Yang. Add to that something I have written about many times, the most transformational shift the planet has ever known, and you have duality in motion, conflict within (Yin/Yang) the sexes and between them,,,and no balance.

I hear it in the form of complaints about relationships. One person wants verbal communication and the other suffers from suppressed emotions, one wants sex with the promise of future commitment and the other,,,just wants sex; one wants security and money and the other wants fun times and romance. Any combo is fine if it works for you if it makes you happy, But when it doesn't ....things can escalate emotionally and you end up dealing with issues of CONTROL, fear, confusion and general breakdown or meltdown, anger, blah, blah, blah...Control is what guys cannot stand or deal with women.

So, the answer to the problem, as always, comes down to something very basic. You have to ask yourself: What do I want in a relationship? And when you meet someone, always, always there has to be some passion of dynamic energy that stimulates the chemistry in order for a relationship to continue. That comes into play the first moment you meet. Is it there or are you pretending? Are you playing a role, a game, indicating that you want one thing when you really want something else? Go for the vibrational pull (not how they look) and you are much more likely to make the right choice.

The days of a male dominated society are over and I'm not suggesting that a female dominated society is where we should be headed. I do think that men need to GROW UP and women need to WAKE UP. I also think that both men and women need to find a balance of the male/female energy that each of us carries within us. Finding that still-point can be a challenge but it is part of the growth we are here to experience.